Your FREE article on Forgiveness...

FORGIVENESS - Lay Your Burden Down

Q: Why do I feel like I never left home? All of my serious relationships keep reminding me of the same problems I had with my parents…and the people don’t even look like one of them!

A: You’ve not only asked a good question, but it’s one I’ve heard hundreds of times in my counseling practice, and one I have asked myself on more than a few occasions. What I’ve discovered is that when you find that you are attracting familiar patterns (even though the people are different) that feel unsupportive or destructive, you are being reminded that you have more forgiveness to apply to your past. Search again to see where you are judging your parents and use one of the tools you have learned to forgive them. 

Q. I am sick and tired of being resentful and angry with my ex. What can I do to alleviate the pain and anger I feel toward her?

A. It is daunting to think about how much energy we use to keep the fire of anger, resentment, blame and judgment alive, when what our souls really want to do is let go of the past and live fully in the present moment. Forgiveness is the antidote to the illness caused by holding on to those feelings. It does not mean that you are expected to condone the behavior of your former spouse; it means that you are willing to find it in your heart to know that she is a child of God, and was doing the best she could at that time. Forgiveness allows us to transcend the human foibles of people and recognize their pure, True Nature. 

Q. If I forgive ______ then that means I’ll have to “turn the other cheek” and become the victim of more of his abuse, right?

A. It’s amazing how many clients and students believe that forgiveness equals doormat! As I said before, being forgiving doesn’t mean condoning another’s behavior. Your goal here is to free yourself from your past and that person. Period. Forgiveness does not require that you go back and put yourself in harm’s way. It does require that you do NOT forgive and forget; but take good care of yourself and open to the abundance that this present moment is offering you...